A Useful Life (Drago Adams from The Monday Motivator)

When you are 80 years old, sitting in your porch rocking chair and reflecting on life, questions such as Did I live a useful life? will cross your mind. There’s no doubt this question will be important to you at 80, so it really should be important to you now.

Unfortunately, a lot of people make a habit of postponing life. They think that somehow, some way, somewhere at some time, life will get better. This rather poignant saying helps illustrate my point:

First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working. And then I was dying to marry and have children. Then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could return to work. Then I was dying to retire. And now I am dying and suddenly realize I forgot to live.

Isabel Moore said, “Life is a one-way street. No matter how many detours you take, none of them leads back. And once you know and accept that, life becomes much simpler.”

I’ve understood for some time that the only day I have is today. Even so, having a heart attack a few years ago crystallized that concept in my mind. Life is a one-way street. This isn’t a dress rehearsal—it’s a live performance.

We need to take special care to live a useful life, starting now.

So what does it mean to live a useful life? For me, the usefulness of my life is determined by:
•    The relationships I form
•    The decisions I make
•    The experiences I encounter

The Relationships I Form

Relationships help us define who we are and what we can become. More than almost anything else, relationships determine the kind of a life you lead. In fact, most people can trace their failures or successes back to pivotal relationships.

Our relationships with others fall into one of four categories:

1. Addition—Some relationships add to who we are.
2. Subtraction—Some relationships take a little bit out of us.
3. Multiplication—Some relationships can multiply our strengths, results and contacts.
4. Division—Some relationships can divide us.

Think about the people in your life. Where do they fit into these categories? I’m sure it wouldn’t take long to put names beside each category, right? Many of the sorrows we experience spring out of relationships with the wrong people. But it is also true that some of the greatest joys we experience in life develop as the result of our relationships with the right people. With that in mind, work to increase the time and energy you invest in the relationships that improve your life.

And, perhaps above all, work on becoming a person who improves others’ lives.

The Decisions I Make

Our decisions also determine the usefulness of our lives. One of my favorite quotes on making decisions comes from the great John Wooden, who said, “Make each day your masterpiece.”

There are two ingredients necessary to make every day a masterpiece: decisions and discipline. Decision-making takes care of goal setting, but discipline also takes care of goal-getting. Decisions and discipline can’t be separated; one is worthless without the other.

Since I’m talking about living a useful life, let me share what I consider to be a few of my own life-changing decisions.

• I am committed to continual personal growth. I believe growth is happiness, it is essential. Out of my growth I live, and out of my growth, I give.

• I will give and serve on the front end. Many of the blessings I enjoy today are the result of the decision my wife, Margaret, and I made to try to live a life of giving with no strings attached.

• I will exhibit a great attitude, regardless of the situation.

Virginia Satir said, “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.” It’s not the circumstances life deals us that determine our success or failure. It’s our response to it.

The Experiences I Encounter

Finally, the experiences we encounter on a daily basis impact our ability to live a useful life. Joseph Campbell put it best, “People say that what we’re all seeking is meaning for life…. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive.”

Our experiences determine how fulfilling our life is, and there are four realms to every experience:

1. Entertainment—Absorbing experience through the senses
2. Educational—Participation of a person’s mind or body, sometimes both
3. Escapist—Completely involves the person, like going to a theme park
4. Esthetic—Immersion in an environment but not affecting it

Jim Gilmore was spot-on when he said, “The richest and most compelling human experiences draw from all four realms.” If you are a leader or a communicator, ask yourself: When I am communicating with or leading people, do I involve all four experiences?

Final Thoughts
If you’re not doing something with your life, it doesn’t matter how long it is. If you’re doing something with your life, it doesn’t matter how long it is. Life does not consist of years lived, but of its usefulness.
If you are giving, loving, serving, helping, encouraging and adding value to others, you have a useful life!

How Successful People Set Goals and Follow Through

As many of you know I am all about goal setting and increasing performance and results while improving team cohesion and personal well-being.  This recent article and blog post is a great perspective from the world's number 1 Executive Coach Marshall Goldsmith. 

This is the link to the youtube video on the subject and below has a write up and narrative to bring perspective and learning. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9-VOHw9lCc


The typical advertisement or “infomercial” – designed to help people “get in shape” – provides a great example of what not to do in goal-setting. The message is almost always the same, “For an ‘incredibly small’ amount of money – you can buy a ‘revolutionary’ product – that is ‘unbelievably easy’ and ‘fun to use’. This product will produce ‘amazing results’ ‘in almost no time’ and you will ‘have the body that you always wanted’.” Most infomercials imply that you will not have to continue exercising and dieting for years – that you will continue to look young – and that you will have frequent, wonderful sex for the rest of your life.
In reality there is no “easy answer” – real change requires real effort. The “quick fix” is seldom a “meaningful fix”. Distractions and competing responses are going to happen and the most successful people, and those who really want to be great, understand this.
Below are three of the most important reasons that people give up on goals followed by a brief description of how successful people “do it differently” and are ultimately well-positioned to achieve their goals.

1. OwnershipOne of the biggest mistakes in all of leadership development is the roll-out of programs and initiatives with the promise that “this will make you better”. A classic example is the performance appraisal process. Many companies change their performance appraisal forms on a regular basis. How much good does this usually do? None! These appraisal form changes just confuse people and are seen as annual exercises in futility. What companies don’t want to face is the real problem – it is seldom the form – the real problem is the managers who lack either the courage or the discipline to make the appraisal process work. The problem with the “this will make you better” approach is that the emphasis is on the “this” and not the “you”.
   Rather than rely on the latest “program,” successful people have a high need for and reliance upon self-determination. They commit to the challenge, task, or process that needs their efforts and make a plan to meet their goals. Because of this commitment, they are far more likely to achieve success.
2. TimeMost of us have a natural tendency to underestimate the time needed to reach targets. Everything seems to take longer than we think that it should! When the time elapsed in working toward our goal starts exceeding expectations, we are tempted to just give up on the goal, and often do.
   Successful goal-setters are more time-sensitive than the general population. They are more realistic about the time it will take them to implement and complete various changes and/or tasks. In addition, they review their goals frequently and adjust their plans for progress as necessary. Thus, they are more likely to meet their own goal expectations.
3. DifficultyThe gripe with difficulty is, “The challenge, process, or task is a lot harder than I thought it would be. It sounded so simple when I was starting out!”
   In setting goals it is important that we realize that real change will take real work. Expecting that “this will be easy” and “this will be no problem for me” can backfire in the long-term when we realize that change is not easy and that we will invariably face some problems in our journey toward change.
   Successful people understand that there will be a price for success – they will have to work hard to achieve their goals. This realistic outlook prevents the disappointment that can occur when challenges do arise later in the change process – and as a result they are less likely to give up.

All of these messages may sound “tough”, but they are real. Successful people are not afraid of challenging goals. In fact – clear, specific goals that produce a lot of challenge – tend to produce the best results!
 Taken from: http://www.marshallgoldsmithfeedforward.com/marshallgoldsmithblog/?p=1082&utm_source=03+CBC+Full&utm_campaign=03+CBC+-+Full&utm_medium=email
Posted on November 2, 2015 by Coach Marilyn